Today is my daughter's 3rd Birthday....

And I dedicate this song to her....



My daughter has showed me what it means to love anything or anyone. I feel like I was barely living. Having a child is like getting everything that you never know you wanted. Even through hard times I can always look at her know that she truly loves me unconditionally. That is a wonderful feeling...

No More Good People?? Part ONE

So today I have a kinda different subject....

THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN OR GOOD WOMEN OUT THERE...(2 part series)

Please give it a read before you judge...

Okay so Im gonna start with my ladies. I hear this all the time...there are NO good men out there... Thats why Im single.

I truly dont believe that. There are good men, men that go overlooked a lot of the time. Lets take for example my cousin, Lets call him 'Sonny'. So...Sonny is a great man. He has one biological child and basically adopted his ex's daughter as well because she has known him since birth. He works very hard to provide for his children and that in turn has left him in bad situations sometimes...(women get hungry, try to get ALL the money etc) He finished high school but got caught up in a dope boy's dream...got in some trouble but now he is cleaning his life up. He is charming, funny, polite and very lovable but he gets looked past because he works at McDonald's...please keep in mind that he is a Manager and chicks still turn their noses up. I find it funny that A woman will deal with an unemployed man that eats up all your damn food before you will deal with that....My cousin has ambition. Something a lot of men out here don't have but shoot... Chicks want that fancy shit...That man that her friends will be jealous of....

NOW on the other hand I have another male friend who will be unnamed. Pussy gets thrown at him all the damn time. I mean its crazy. He is an investor who deals in stock and bonds etc. He makes MONEY. He drives a 7 series Beamer, lives in the nice house, wears expensive shit etc etc...however He treats women like SHIT... he is an okay guy but he KNOWS he is a catch therefore he is impossible...he thinks that women owe him something...that they have to be flawless to be with him at. Its sickening really.

But lets move on. The point is.. Women. Really. We have to start taking a look at things differently. What happened to men getting points for ambition and dreams? I mean as long as he has some work behind it...Nobody expects you to get with a straight out ass loser but take a second look at that man who is working hard to get somewhere in this world....

Well Im wrapping up. Make sure you look out for part two tomorrow...

Age aint nothing but a number..

What age does a man grow up?

Let me give you a little background.

I have NEVER dated anyone close to my age. Every relationship I have ever been in the man has been 3 to 8 years older than me. Dating someone older provided me with security, provided me with somewhat of a shelter. Someone with a little more life experience is kind of like a shelter some kind of protection from everyday life.

I know this sounds cliche but I think I have that 'daddy' complex. I want someone that I feel safe with. Someone that will keep me from harm.

Now on the flipside of this...as I get older I am starting to realize that men are men. Older does not always mean wiser.

I have been thru a lot of BS. With men that are older than me. Sometimes Age really is nothing but a number.

Im starting to see that a man is 'grown' when he stops playing all the games. A man is a man when he is responsible for his own. When he pays his own bills and is not worried about the opinions of others.

A man is grown in a relationship when making that woman happy is his main goal. When he realizes that his 'boys' are not the end all be all of advice. When he makes a decision and is not worried about what anyone has to say about it.

People ask me what love is all the time. To me love is being able to care for someone so much that you think of them before you think of yourself...

Bringing it back to reality....Today is the day that I stop looking at how old a man is as a gage for his maturity level. Im getting older... maybe I will even live out some lucky young man's older woman fantasy. (Every man has one lol)

So Today's song is Pink&Blue by Andre 3K. Love the song (but oddly enough R.Kelly Co-wrote it, yeah I know) So listen and enjoy....

Music Monday :)

Hello Folks...today was mundane Monday for me because I'm back at work...but hey whats better than a great song....

Kelis - Get Along with U. Video was ill and I believe that Kelis was WAY before her time...

Happy Saturday PEOPLE!!!!

Im gonna call this 'Good Music Saturday' So here is your vid of the day:

Foreign Exchange 'Daykeeper' If you dont know about FE, get on it. Leave it all behind is probably the greatest CD made this year.

Enjoy :)

The Foreign Exchange feat. Muhsinah - "Daykeeper" from The Foreign Exchange on Vimeo.

Rapper Big Pooh: Rearview Mirror

Im feeling this song and video more than a little right now.... From Rapper Big Poohs solo album Delightful Bars....

Rapper Big Pooh - "Rear View Mirror" Official Music Video from HOJTV on Vimeo.

Kiss (A Poem by me)

Just a little diddy I wrote tonight....or last night lol since it is like 2am. basically about waiting for the okay on a relationship from the other person. Not even necessarily a relationship...Just waiting for the go ahead....

I just wonder if that kiss was the beginning or the end.

I thought it was the beginning so I was playing
Barely pressing your lips to mine
Waiting for the right time to close my eyes
Holding my breath pointlessly
You know you take it from me everytime
you speak sweet nothings
drippin your words into my ear
so syrupy sweet

But obviously I was wrong.

Situations make it so hard for us to see
Like a fog laying over what is 'supposed to be'
If I had a crystal ball, I swear I would let you borrow it
So you could see
who its gonna be
Cause even if its not me....
I would be okay
But the indecision is taking so much out of me.

If this is the end...then let me make it good for you
Feel the heat of me pressed against your body
Just so you remember EXACTLY how I...
feel..Smell...Taste
Remember how the electricity feels running through us
And forget why you cant stay
Invite me to lay next to you just one more night
Allow me to wake up with you to greet another beautiful day.

But I dont know what this kiss had in store...
So I think myself in a knot
Waiting for the time to pass
Waiting for the conversation
That you and I must have

For those curious about my erotica writing.....I present THE HOTEL....

The ride to the hotel after the concert was a long, heavy ride.

We both knew how we felt. But neither one of us wanted to make the first move. I know that he did not want to look sleazy and shit, I was supposed to be hurt. I could not just jump into being with another man. But Kareem felt so right. The way he wrapped his arms around me as we swayed to the music was still stuck on my mind. Feeling his breath on my neck, his soft kisses on my collarbone was too much to take. I could not remember the last time someone held me that close and made me feel that damn good.

‘Where did you park your car?’

‘Huh?’ I was in my own world.

‘Which side of the hotel?’

‘Oh.’ I motioned to the left. ‘That side.’

‘You okay? You seem kind of out of it.’

‘I’m okay. I think.’

We ride in silence and I glance over at him. He is so beautiful. His skin is shining like copper under the moonlight. He catches me staring at him and in that moment both of us know that I’m not going home tonight.

‘Stay with me.’

‘I can do that. ‘

I was surprised by his boldness. He is never usually that bold. Ever. But it turns me on. I’m squirming in my seat as we glide into the parking spot in front of the hotel. It’s a beautiful hotel and when I get to the lobby the sound of my heels clicking scares me. Its so damn quiet. He walks ahead of me because clearly I don’t know where I am going. I look at his back. Damn. His back is so strong. Shoulders broad. Waist narrow. Butt full. Legs strong. I’m getting flushed. Head spinning. I don’t want to look him directly in the face. I’m afraid that I will melt. Or lose my will. Or do something stupid.

He is still in front as we get on the elevator. The 11 button illuminates the dim elevator. I go directly to the corner I can see him looking at me through the glass. He looks seductive like his eyes are pleading with me to come to him. I am still too scared.

1….2….3….4….

He walks towards me. His hand is in my hair. Thank God I got a perm. His lips brush mine and I let out a barely audible moan. He feels so damn good. I slip my tongue in his mouth and he tastes like I knew he would. Delicious. His hand is on my ass pulling me closer to him. I feel his heart beating and hear my heart beating in my head. My head is still spinning when the doors open.

He takes my hand and leads me into 1125.

Its dark but I don’t care. I search for his lips again. He finds me. He still has my hand. He sits me on the bed. I unbutton my shirt and throw it on the floor. He does the same. We are both as naked as the day we were born. It’s still dark. I want to see his face. I go turn on the bathroom light and pull the door. He is under the covers.

The bed is so so soft. I sink into it and turn my back to him. I feel him pressing against my backside. It’s so thick. So long. I press my body back into him and feel him kiss my back. I want to show him that I want him. I want to show him that I appreciate him.

I kiss his lips; I don’t know when to stop. We could have been kissing for seconds or days. Time was nothing. I trail my kisses down his neck stopping to nibble for a while he tastes so damn good. My kisses trail his chest…down to his belly…down to the V….I taste him. Only teasing him with my tongue… his reaction eggs me on. I wrap my tongue around his shaft and tease him holding him steady with my hand. He’s moving his hips in my rhythm. I let him enter my mouth and take it all, slowly and deliberately. I let my hand join and stroke him in a circular motion in rhythm with my mouth in rhythm with his hips. We go on like that for how long…time is not an issue. I look up at him and see him somewhere between agony and ecstasy. He stops me. Flips me on my stomach. I raise my hips. I’m so damn wet that I’m embarrassed. I don’t want him to know that the anticipation of him made me that way. He enters me and I feel so full I moan for more. It’s like he knows my body. Like we have done this before. Somewhere, sometime before. Every stroke he gives me I return it to him. I feel sweat in his grip of my hips so I lay my chest down to the bed and lower my hips so he is sliding inside of me. He is so close to me that I hear his breathing, its jagged. My face is in the pillow and I’m calling his name. Calling my Jesus, and calling anyone else who wants to listen. My stomach is burning. I feel myself tighten around him. Again and again. He has it so wet. So damn wet that I feel it running down my legs. I never been this wet before for anyone. He is silent. I just hear him breathing. I’m cursing like a sailor, cumming an ocean praying he does not drown. Or cum yet.

I’m flipped on my back. He looks at me and I want to look away. I’m so naked. Not just physically. I think when he looks into my eyes he is going to see that I’m falling in love, but I can’t look away. My legs are around his neck He gives me all of him and I don’t resist. I still don’t look away. I feel his hips pounding into me. He is still looking at me. I’m biting my lip. I can’t take all the pleasure I feel. He lets my leg rest on his shoulder and teases my nipple with his tongue and my back arches. He gives me more. Stops stroking concentrates on each nipple like there is some kind of imaginary flavor on them. Kisses my belly. I’m begging for him to put it back in. He lays me on my side. Enters me. I arch my back and poke my booty out for better access. I can see the pleasure in his face from every stroke. I’m throwing in back like Roxy Reynolds. I don’t even recognize the string of praise and curses coming out of my own mouth. I’m in ecstasy. I’m past ecstasy. The only thing on my mind is making him cum. I look him in his eyes. I see that he is close. I give him a few more strokes. I lay him on his back and jump on. I take him in slowly then glide back on. I let my booty slap his thighs a few times before I pick up the pace. I see in his face that he is coming. He grabs my hips and meets my thrusts. His breathing chops up. A bead of sweat rolls off his forehead to the pillow. And I feel him cumming. He is holding my hips. Pulling me into him as he cums. He is so sexy right now. I wish he could see himself. I can’t move so I just lay on his chest. He holds me back. It’s an inferno in the room. We are both sweating. Finally I roll off of him and sink into the soft bed.

I don’t know what to say. So I don’t. I just lay beside him. I think he’s sle